Today I did not stay afloat. I let the current pull me into that dark sea again. It has been quite some time since I have felt this way. I don't even know if I can attribute it to any one thing. I suppose it's a plethora of not just my experiences these past few days, but of others as well. I feel I have been reminded over and over again lately of what can go wrong. Simply put...I'm scared and a little bit sad. There is Facebook group that I am a part of that has some awesome moms of little ones that have Ds around Camden's age. A few of these moms (myself included) have had a not so ideal past few days. Whether it be a hospitalization, unexpected test result, worries about upcoming tests or not knowing if something is wrong or not. These women have become a very important lifeline for me. I know I can turn to them for prayers and support. I also stumbled across a Facebook page for
Cayden. It broke my heart. Again, I'm reminded of the horrible and painful things that can come with having an extra chromosome. Cayden was born with Ds and has had several complications since birth. He will not be here much longer. My heart aches for this family. I know I am blessed that Camden does not have serious health issues thus far. For the most part, I try not to think too much about what the future brings. "
Why let the worries of tomorrow rob you of your joys of today?" Today is just a bad day. Bad days are going to happen. It's up to me to pick myself up and keep going.
Earlier today I glanced over at the nightstand and saw a little booklet I have called
The Daily Bread. It was open to a page titled
Pack Up Your Sorrows. Coincidence? I don't think so. I believe God was trying to get my attention. I believe He was trying to remind me that there is never a burden or sorrow too heavy for Him to bear. I need to release it all to Him and let go because this is out of my hands. Tomorrow WILL be a better day!
Praying that your days are better. Keep your head held high for not only is our heavenly father with you, but family and friends as well!
ReplyDeleteLove y'all! Shae Glover.
Thanks Shae! We are very blessed to have great family and friends! We love you guys!
DeleteDiane, your post really tugged at my heart. I know exactly the place you are in. It is okay to visit that place. One chromosome can do a lot and those challenges will come in waves. We have to be emotionally equipped for each one, so allow yourself the freedom to be sad, to worry, to fret. It is okay to visit that place. But then you have to do exactly what you said, and allow your faith to sustain you.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah 29:11, "for I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future". We can not be certain of what the future can bring, but we can trust that God will be with us on our journey. He is the author of our journeys, and there is comfort there.
You have been such an inspiration to me and Kennedy, I hope that I can be the same for you. I pray for your continued faith and for Camden's continued health. Just please know, you're not alone.
God bless!
Chandra
Chandra...thank you for posting that scripture! I I need to remember this more. Most days are so good and then a bad one creeps in...as I'm sure you can understand. I always think of Kenni and the other little ones having surgery, etc and it breaks my heart that they have to endure so much. However, these special blessings are fighters and teach me more than I ever thought I could learn. I'm so happy to know you and can't wait to meet you in person!
DeleteHave you joined the Facebook group for the babies born in 2012-2013? Those women are amazing and so supportive. If not, I can send you the link.
I was there yesterday too. I think for me there is such a push to get to the "I'm ok" place, sometimes it is a rude awakening when I realize that I can't be ok with everything, all the time. Here's to better days, girl. If all else fails, we can look at pictures of our cute kids. I don't know why, but I love it when they cross their hands together in their sleep. Seems so grown up, but not. ;)
ReplyDeleteI think you're right. I feel pressured sometimes to be at peace and okay with everything. I think some days I am...but obviously not everyday. I feel like a lot of us mommas went through a lot recently and it was just a bad time. The pictures are definitely good therapy!
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