Good news...I think

I keep meaning to sit down and type, but it's either been crazy busy or we've been trying to enjoy the nice weather as much as we can.  Last week's weather was beautiful.  There were several days that were in the 60's and 70's and we definitely took advantage of it while we had it. We took the boys to the Fort Worth Stock Show last week.  Carter is at the age where everything is so exciting and it was great to see him have fun.  Camden just loved being out and looking at the animals and watching all the people.

We spent a couple of days lounging around the house doing absolutely nothing but hanging out outside.  One of the great things about living in the country is that there is a lot of area for the boys to run around.  Carter stayed out from morning to night and I would bring Camden out in between naps.  Carter is starting to take after his daddy and is turning into a little country boy.  He drives the tractor with Richard and is able to take the wheel on his own for the most part. He even wanted to help daddy clean the ducks. I have a feeling he will be hunting with Richard in the next couple of years and will definitely be fishing with him this year!

Camden was practicing his crawling position in the pack n play.

Camden had a couple of doctor's appointments today with the ENT and cardiologist.  The ENT was just a follow up on the tubes he had placed.  The doc said everything looked great and that we will have to come back every six months for a while for a check up.

The cardiology appointment is the one I've been anxiously awaiting for the past 6 months. They checked his weight first and he's still a tiny peanut at 17 pounds 13 ounces. His cardiologist wasn't concerned because he said he looked pretty proportional and really healthy.  He then had an echo which essentially showed the same thing as every other echo he has had. I guess it was good news and bad news. I was really hopeful that the hole would be smaller. However, it is not putting any strain on his heart and his pressures are good.  He continues to show no symptoms from it, and that is good news. He will have another echo in six months and we will continue to wait and watch.  The doc still seems optimistic about the hole closing and said it just may take another year or two. If the hole has not closed by the time he is three, then we will discuss what to do next. So long story short, there is no new news. We will be positive and keep praying!

I will write an update on milestone development and therapy in the next couple of days. I feel like Camden has changed so much in the last few weeks and it's so exciting! I hope everyone has a safe and fun Super Bowl weekend! 

A Good Cry

Kids grow up so fast, don't they? For some reason I feel that way about Camden lately. I know he's only a year old, but he's moving out of the little baby phase and that has made me a little sad. I'm sure it has something to do with several people I know having babies lately and seeing newborns everywhere. I think most moms can agree that there is just something so sweet and special about holding that tiny little newborn in your arms and against your chest. It's such a tender moment. I remember holding Carter when he was a baby all day and night because I just never wanted to put him down. Several people would tell me that he would get too spoiled and that I shouldn't do that. I never believed that theory, and frankly I never cared. It felt right to keep him close to me. I kind of feel like I was robbed of the whole newborn period with Camden and I think that's why I've been so emotional the past few days. Of course I decide to break down and start crying in front of my friends at work yesterday. I had to quickly stop the tears because it wasn't the most appropriate place to be a blubbering mess. However, I think I needed a good cry. Through the crazy emotional rollercoaster that started after Camden's birth, the one thing that kept me sane was getting to cuddle my sweet boy. Being at the hospital and holding that tiny little peanut in my arms was the only time that I felt at peace. I could forget about everything that was going on when I held him in my arms. As soon as I would leave the hospital, I just felt sick again. Once I was able to take him home, I spent so much time worrying and researching instead of taking the time to snuggle him. That part with my fault. I still wish that I could go back and do things differently. I do try to hold him and cuddle him as much as I possibly can, but these days he just wants to move all the time and doesn't like to be held in one spot. I guess that's all part of him growing up. I do love seeing his personality and skills blossom, but sometimes I like to reminisce about he days when he was so small and fit perfectly in the crook of my neck.

Bad Hair Day

We started off the new year with a first haircut. I've been going back and forth about cutting Camden's hair for a while now. Most of you know that he had a lot of hair. It was pretty long in the back with some curl. He had some high maintenance hair for a baby. It would get so tangled several times a day so I had to use leave in conditioner and detanglers. He would scream when I combed the back of his hair because it was such a mess. All that aside, he had really pretty hair. I think I finally decided to cut it after he was called a beautiful little girl a gazillion times. Anyone who does not know Camden thinks he's a girl. I'm not exaggerating. One day a couple of weeks ago he was called a girl five times in a 30 minute span. This happens daily. I think a lot of it was because of his hair. I know it shouldn't matter, but it just really started to bug me. I already get so many other rude or annoying comments from strangers, I really don't want to hear more. Even my own mother kept saying he looked like a girl. Anyway, we decided to cut it. I didn't want to cut it all off because he has such great hair. I decided to have them cut the back short and leave the rest the length of his bangs. Well, that didn't look too great. He ended up with a chili bowl and I was so sad and frustrated so I just had them stop and leave if the way it is. It definitely wasn't the big first haircut moment that I imagined. He's still my handsome BOY though, and the good thing about hair is that you can change it anytime!

Before...waiting to get it cut

During the cut

Fake smile from mom after the cut

We made the decision to pull Carter out of his preschool this year. I really didn't want to and we tried to avoid it, but he was missing too many days. Doctor's appointments and therapy times seemed to always conflict with his school days and it didn't help that the school was almost a half hour away. I didn't want him to keep missing days and have to keep paying, so we stopped. I don't know why this was so hard on me, but it just made he sad for him. I know it's my fault for not having everything more organized. I don't ever want him to feel that he can't do things because we have a lot going on with Camden. He doesn't seem to mind or miss it right now. Next year he will do pre k at the school by our house and that will be much easier. I just need to schedule lots of play dates so he can be around other kids. We are off to a good start so far!

We even had a play date with Camden's little buddy P who is 9 months old. He is doing so amazing! He's already crawling around all over the place and I'm hoping he might motivate Cam to do the same!

I'm also going to start taking Camden to a craniosacral therapist this month. I'm not exactly sure what happens at these appointments, but I have heard great things about it so I thought we would give it a try. I'll write more about it after we have our first appointment. We started giving Camden supplements this week as well. We are starting slow and doing Nutrivene D first, and then will start adding more when we are ready. We are doing this more for long term benefits. I will explain more about that in another post too.

Camden has his cardiology appointment this month and I honestly can't wait to go. I just want to hear that the hole is closed, or is at least closing. This is always in the back of mind and I still worry a great deal about it. I just want to be able to put it behind us. If you can spare a little prayer for him, it would be much appreciated!

So far the new year has started off good and continues to be busy. We are adding more therapies and I'm ready to get back on track after our much needed break. It's going to be a great year! I just feel it! ;)