Assumptions

My sweet peanut has bronchiolitis...again. The rest of the family has actually been sick over the past week and I was so relieved that Camden didn't catch the funk. I guess I was wrong. I came home from work on Saturday and I walk in my mom's house to a sweet but pathetic looking baby boy. He definitely was not feeling his best. We were staying at my mom's for the weekend so she could watch the boys while I worked. I usually don't have anything there, like a nebulizer machine, but for some reason I packed it this time. I gave him a couple of breathing treatments with the help of a very thoughtful four year old.

We didn't get any sleep because Camden was so miserable. I think we both slept from 2-4. I was lucky that I was able to get off work yesterday so I could stay home with him. His breathing started getting pretty labored and then he started having retractions so I decided to take him to the Urgent Care Clinic. We were the only ones there which was awesome and we were seen right away. From that point to end of the visit was pretty much just annoying. The nurse asked me if there was any health history and I listed off everything including that he has Trisomy 21. Sometimes I say that and other times I say Down syndrome. I have no reason for which one I say. I just like to switch it up I guess. Then she starts to assess him and randomly turns around and asks "Trisomy 21...I assume that is Down syndrome?" I told her she assumed right and that I was sorry I wasn't clear. No big deal. "Okay, he's Downs" she then says. Ummm...he has Down syndrome, yes. I just want to say that I'm not easily offended with little things like this. I know people mean well and sometimes don't word things properly. I really get that. Then the doctor comes in and the nurse goes on to tell her his history and then says "and he's Downs". I really wanted to say "He is Camden, and he has Down syndrome", but I didn't. I was annoyed, but I just brushed it off. Again, it's not that big of a deal. Then she goes to suction his nose with a bulb suction and Camden let her do it without a fuss. "Oh your such a good boy. Those Down's kids are so laid back and don't fuss" she says. I then explain that he doesn't throw a fit when you suck his snot out because his mama does this on a daily basis. He's used to it. We give him a breathing treatment while we're there, he is also used to these, and of course she comments on how he's not even crying or fussing for being so sick because those Down's kids are so happy and laid back. Lady, you should have been with us last night when he was crying all night. He was NOT happy and laid back! At this point I just rolled my eyes and sat quietly in the chair waiting to sign the papers to go home. Maybe I'm being a little over the top, but it's really frustrating when your child is not seen as an individual. He is seen as one of those kids. He is seen as a Down's baby. There are many components that make up Camden and Ds just happens to be one of those, but it does not define who he is. I want people to see him.

Okay, my rant is over about that subject. He didn't need oxygen so we were able to go home and do the rest at home. We are doing breathing treatments around the clock for the next few days with some other respiratory therapy type treatments and he should be good to go. He's a tough little cookie!

I did manage to get a small smile.

A New Week

It's been a rough week. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted and just ready for a new week. I'm happy to report that the kiddos are doing fabulous (despite these miserable allergies) and with a little wine this momma is too. I realized I took a lot of pictures in the last week so I thought I would just let you look at my cutie pies since I have nothing real fascinating or inspiring to say.

Actually I do have something important to talk about before I bombard you with photos. Can you please keep Camden's little buddy, Luca, in your thoughts and prayers? Luca was diagnosed with Infantile Spasms a while ago and they have yet to get them under control. They have tried medications with no luck, and now Luca is on a special diet to see if this will help. On top of the IS, he also started having other types of seizures as well. This is so hard for the family right now and soon they will travel to see one of the top Neurologists in the country to see if they can help. I can't tell you how wonderful Luca's mom is. I'm so honored to call her a friend. While going through all of this, she was kind enough to put together this amazing card made up of all our babies to send to another wee one across the globe. She reached out to that family in their time of need when her family is struggling as well. She is a remarkable woman. Please find time to say a little prayer for them. You can follow Luca's story here.

And...here goes our week in photos!

Fun times at the grocery store! (Well, as fun as it can be).

I came home one day to find homemade jelly. Apparently Richard has turned into Betty Crocker and decided to make cactus jelly. He's not done though...he has many more in mind. This is so strange. It's so not like him.

We got to go to the museum with a friend and her two lovely kiddos (whom I would not have met if not for Camden) and we had such a great time.

Despite the lack of rain, we still got a pretty good hay crop. What a blessing!

This poor momma was a bit crazy this day! Poor Cam! :)

We went to sweet Kenley's birthday party yesterday and we got to see Rylie since he came in town. Ryan had to work, but it was good to see one of them!

And lastly, my awesome 4 year old super hero!

Does It Matter?

Lately I've been a little discouraged with the whole milestone thing. I kind of got in a little funk a few days ago and decided to go ahead and get out the wine for my pity party for one again. I hardly ever get down about milestones. In fact, it's the one thing that really didn't bother me because I knew that he would do all those things some day. I think it has a lot to do with him getting older. As each month passes the delays become more obvious. I know he is behind his typically developing peers, but I also feel like he's behind a lot of his peers with Ds as well. I LOVE seeing all of Camden's friends accomplish something new. I celebrate with them always. I honestly will say that I never get jealous or upset. I think it just hit me one day that he wasn't doing a lot of the things that I thought he would be doing by now. Richard is becoming less sympathetic with my shedding of tears these days. I guess it's because I'm a cry baby about everything. He told me he didn't understand what I was so upset about. After I explained he just said "so what". "Does it matter that he's not doing these things right now? Is it that big of a deal? In fact, I like it a little because I get to have a baby for a little bit longer." Dang...why is he always right?! 

I worry about the things he's not doing but there are a lot of things he is doing too. It's still so weird for me to think I have a nine month old because he really seems more like a five month old right now. He is not able to hold his own bottle and can't self feed yet. I don't mind having to hold him to feed him his bottle because it's just more bonding time. He loves those little puffs but he's not able to hold them, direct them to his mouth, and then eat them. So I usually just sit there and hold them in his mouth until one of us gets tired of it.  

The one big thing we are still waiting on is rolling. The boy does not want to roll either direction. We work on this a lot and I really think he can do it but just doesn't want to. He can roll himself to his side and if I keep my hand behind him so he can't roll back, he will get mad and roll over to his tummy. This makes me think that he can do it. Then again, maybe the entire motion is too much. He stopped rolling from tummy to back about a month ago again too. His therapists don't seem concerned by it so I suppose I shouldn't be either. 

We are also working very hard on sitting. I do feel like there has been a lot of progress in this area. He is not sitting independently, but he can hold his tripod position for much longer periods now. Every once in a while he will sit up for a few seconds but then falls forward to the tripod position. He looks so uncomfortable sitting this way because he seems like he's hunched over so much. His little arms are so darn short that he can't really hold himself up any straighter. It's pretty cute!

Lately his therapists have been working on getting him into the crawling position to get ready for crawling. This skill seems so far off right now, especially since we aren't rolling or sitting. I do understand the importance of working on it now to help build his strength. He actually will get in the position with help, and then lunges forward and does a face plant on the floor. I know he wants to move, he just needs to figure out how. 

The one thing he has gotten excellent at is grabbing! I remember waiting and waiting for him to reach out and touch a toy or my face. He's got that skill down now! He will grab anything above him, to the side of him, or in front of him. The way his face lights up when he touches your cheek is priceless. He can snatch a pair of glasses off your face in less than two seconds. He is also really awesome at grabbing the iPad while watching Baby Signing Time and knocking it on the hardwood floor. Oh man, I kept delaying getting an otter box for it, and now I'm kicking myself.

Camden really is doing so great and we are incredibly proud! We will continue to work hard, but we will make sure we are having fun too. I know in a couple of years I will look back and realize that it does not matter when he does these things. He will do them on his time and no one else's.

Dear Carter

Dear Carter,

Today you turn four years old. These past four years have really flown by. I still remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. I was so excited to be pregnant with you. I just couldn't wait to have kids. When you arrived in this world on September 2, 2009 at 1:45 pm, I instantly felt a love that I never knew existed. I knew we were connected for eternity. You immediately had your daddy and I wrapped around your little finger. You were a very laid back baby,taking your time to do everything. Looking back I don't know why I was in such a hurry for you to crawl or walk. None of that matters today. Ever since you were little I could see that mind of yours working. You were always very serious only flashing smiles when you felt it was necessary. By the time you turned two everyone worried because you were not much of a talker. This in turn made your mommy worry. You were a boy of few words but your brain was like a little sponge soaking everything up. I still remember walking with you through the grocery store and hearing a child counting and speaking in Spanish. I looked down and realized it was you. I was so amazed and asked you where you had learned that. "Dora" you replied. I don't know why that day stuck in my head so clearly, but it's one I will always remember. Around three years of age you wouldn't stop talking. All that worry for nothing. You are one of the smartest little boys I know (maybe I'm a bit biased). Your thought processing and problem solving skills still astound me. I know you are going to do something big one day. You are also so very tender hearted. You have always cared about what others are feeling. You are a compassionate and thoughtful little boy. There were times you walked in on me crying and I would feel your little hand on my back and then you would ask "mommy, what's wrong? Are you okay?" That was all I needed to get up and press on. You have been through a lot in the last year and you were so amazing through it all. You didn't complain and just went with the flow. You have been the best big bubba to Camden. I never could have imagined how much you would love him. The joy and love I see in your eyes every time you go to hug him still melts my heart. You love so purely and completely. You have taught me so much in these four years. I love you to the moon and back. Happy Birthday baby!

Love,

Mommy