Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Size 2 Shoes

I've mentioned several times in the past how much it used to bother me when people constantly commented on how small Camden is or asked about what he was doing developmentally.  I always left the conversation feeling a bit sad and frustrated. These conversations and comments haven't stopped, but there are three things I've noticed lately:

1. I don't bother explaining why he's small or why he hasn't reached a certain "skill" yet.

2. I don't feel the need to blurt out "he has Down syndrome!" to every stranger I encounter.

3. I can smile (and sometimes laugh) about it instead of cry.
 
I always do my grocery shopping at Walmart because it's really the only place in town. I'm there probably 3-4 times a week because I seem to forget something from the previous trip.  I always do the self checkout no matter how many groceries I have because there's several available.  I like being in control of scanning and bagging my own goodies. I'm a little obsessive about some things.  Anyway, that's another topic. I see the same two ladies every time that work in the self checkout area.  They know me and my boys pretty well by now and are always excited to see Camden. I don't think they know he has Ds, or if they do they haven't mentioned it. Since Camden was very young they would always ask me the same question "How old is he?" I then answer and they give me the same response, "Oh... he's soooooo tiny! He's soooooo cute!" I would say thanks and smile but really wanted to scream "I get it lady...he's freaking small...I know!"  They really are the sweetest ladies and I know they were not trying to be rude.  I just got tired of it sometimes, you know? After Camden turned a year old the conversation changed a little, but not much. "How old is he? Really?! Oh he's sooooooo tiny! I bet he's walking all over the place!" I always reply with a simple "no...not yet." Then they tell me he probably will get up and start walking tomorrow.  I then say "it's possible, but I doubt it". Now at 18 months old we are still having the same conversation. It's part of my grocery shopping routine. I'm really waiting on the day they start asking me why he isn't walking yet.  I suppose our talks will be a little more interesting then. Lol.
 
 
The other day I was shopping in a children's store in the mall and Camden was reclined in the stroller passed out. I kept noticing a woman walking by us and she would glance down at Camden each time.  In my head I'm thinking that she must have a little one with Ds and that maybe she wants to approach me about it.  I haven't had that moment with a stranger that's also in this "club" and I thought this was it! I went about my business and she finally came up to me.  She asks "what size shoe does your son wear? He looks about the same age and size of my little boy (who was not with her) and I wanted to get him some shoes."  I kind of stood there for a second and then replied "he wears a size 2." She said that she thought her boy would be a size 2 as well. Then she says her son is 4 months old and asked if that's how old Camden is. I almost choked because I started to laugh. She looks at me like I'm nuts (probably because I busted out laughing).  I then told her that Camden is 18 months old. Her eyes got so big. You could tell she was in shock and that she also felt really bad.  She tried to apologize and make me feel better by saying her son was just so big for a 4 month old and so it's hard for her to tell with other babies. I tried to let her know that it was totally fine and that I was not offended a bit. That's the honest truth. She thanked me for my help and walked away and I went about my shopping.  It feels so good to be able to just smile and sometimes even giggle about these things now. 
 
 
I mean...really?!?! Does this kid look like a 4 month old?! Obviously he does when he's asleep!

 
 
 
Edit: I wrote this post yesterday. We were grocery shopping this morning and of course I ran into the same sweet ladies at the check out. The conversation actually changed a bit. "How old is he? Oh wow...he's sooooo little. Is he talking? Walking?" 
Now I'm going to have to explain the walking and talking thing. Blah.
 

9 comments:

  1. You will not have any problem with explaining the walking & talking thing.

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    1. Oh gosh, I hope not. The walking thing comes up all the time now and I try to avoid it sometimes. I feel like I make excuses or have to explain. I think that's why I just say "nope, he's not walking." ;)

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  2. LOL He does NOT look 4 months old, but maybe we need a pic of him passed out to know for sure? ;)

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    1. Ha ha Heather! I kept staring at the pic I posted on FB of him sleeping and I could not see it 4 months at all! Oh well, I guess he just gets to be my baby even longer! ;)

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  3. He doesn't look like a 4 month old at all. Some people, including mothers, have a very hard time gauging the age of children. My husband is awful at it and refuses to ever take a guess about people's kids because he's so bad.

    Camden looks great! He's happy--fabulous smile in those photos. He'll do his walking and talking in his own time. You don't need to explain anything. I stopped doing it awhile ago. Case in point: we were out at dinner last weekend and this older woman, a grandma, asked me "how old is your son?". I said he is 5. She was like, oh my grandson is 3 and much bigger than him. I said, oh that's nice and went back to my dinner and conversation with my husband. I just don't engage any further anymore. It's no one's business but ours!

    And by the way.......I love your new header!!

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    1. Thanks Stephanie! I have found it's so much easier to not explain! I think if someone genuinely wanted to talk about it I would if course, but I try to keep the conversation short with the random comments. It has definitely helped me not go completely crazy trying to explain EVERYTHING.
      Is it sad that I just figured out how to even change my banner and put the pic up?! I'm so not tech savvy!

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  4. Seriously, you're exactly like me, two years ago! I swear every post you write is something I have gone through and dealt with and in the same way! lol

    We live in a very small community. Walmart is the only store in our town too. Russell is a celebrity there! Everyone knows him, says hi to him, fusses over him. In the beginning it was very hard for me to deal with. I didn't like a shit ton of attention being directed towards us every time we went out. And people always asked if he was walking. At first the question would fluster me. How much do I say? How much do I just brush it off? But you know, finally I just got sick of it and answered. I said he wasn't walking yet because he had Ds and it would take him a little longer to work on it. It was freeing. Freeing to have it all out there.
    And the attention he gets when we go out no longer bothers me...I look at it differently now. The community we live in, the one Russell is growing up in, is accepting and embracing him. They are taking notice of him and watching him grow. And I would much rather that than him being ignored or no one caring.

    People are always shocked to hear Russell is 4 1/2. And they always think Zane is the older of the two. I will admit that sometimes it bothers me. That is something I am still working on to be ok with. I don't want my almost five year old to be viewed as a "baby". *sigh*

    Love your new header picture too!

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    1. I like living in a smaller town now because everyone does get to know you. I'm so used to the big city where I grew up. I don't know why I don't try to explain anymore. I think I just got tired of it or I felt like I was making excuses. Once people ask me "why" then I tell them he has Ds. Camden will definitely be a tiny one I think. So I can't imagine what people will say when he's Russell's age! I need to just put it out there like you did. Maybe I wouldn't have to have the same conversation over and over. Lol.

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  5. Oh my! Just realized how long my comment was, lol, sorry about that!

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